Pretty sure I'm not gonna make the nanomango goal before the end of the month...
Flaked on my last two attempts to attend the OC Ball...
By all intents and purposes I probably should be dissolving into a puddle of self-pitying oh-gods-I'm-such-a-loser-why-do-I even-want-to-be-an-artist-weh-weh glop but weirdly enough, I'm not. And that is...good? This is progress, maybe.
It's fair to say between RL stuff going on (which I'm not going to go into detail about but trust me I'm not exaggerating when I say it's run the gamut between time-consuming and hellish) work, and modding the nanomango communities, I've had my butter spread thin. I'm feeling tired and a bit annoyed and frustrated at being art-blocked but I'm not turning these feelings on myself like I tend to do.
This year especially I've been so SO dang proud of seeing all these artists tackling the NaNoMangO, I mean how inspirational is that seeing them working so hard and pumping out these pages and pages of art and sketches and stories bless them! that creativity and enthusiasm is amazing, they are amazing and I'm just wallowing joyfully in all that amazing-ness no lie.
I think there's some point where the mounds of inaction that keep piling up finally get to be too much, where you're just like " F**k it, it's time to draw ain't got time for this artblock crap " I don't know if I've gotten to that point yet, if there's more setbacks and false starts in my future and hours of me glowering down at my drawing hand like " why don't you WORK "
...but instead of feeling hopeless and bummed about it I'm more like " This is ok. I can handle this. I'm moving forward and this is ending soon. "
And oh friends that is the best, best feeling.